I Have Returned, More Or Less Triumphant
First day in Raleigh, North Carolina. Second day in Baltimore. Third day in upstate New York. Fourth day back in Baltimore. Last day… home.
I had a great time, but I’m not going to say much about it, because I’m ready to get back to the grind. I have a novel to edit, a game to design (yep), and two children to entertain.
Plus, I want to share a short story with you next post, and I owe you a podcast.
Many thanks to: Aaron and Cecelia Tubbs, Janet Smith, Michael Buccheri, Zev Schlasinger, and Steve Avery. You guys rock!!!
Road Trip!!!
Yeah, I just got back from Aspen as well as from a few days at my parents’ house, and here I am again - gearing up, planning, and sort of packing for ANOTHER trip. I’m gonna give you guys a heads up here so that those of you among my readers who give a crap about my crazy gaming adventures will have something to look forward to.
This time around, my friend Steve “Holt” Avery and I are going on a gaming road trip up the East Coast, just stopping in on friends we have along the way to trounce them in the various games we love and misunderstand the rules to. I’m dragging my laptop along, AGAIN, and hopefully the WiFi in the various stops we make will be vastly superior to that which encountered in Aspen and at Mom’s. That way, I can maybe periodically Tweet or Facebook or even blog about our experiences.
Here’s the itinerary.
Friday, July 9th - Drive from Atlanta to Raleigh, NC and stay with our friends Cecelia and Aaron and their new baby. They just moved there, so I don’t know how settled they are in their house. And I don’t know if the baby’s sleeping through the night yet. It ought to be interesting. I estimate we’ll probably be relatively tame, since it’s our first day out and we’re probably gonna play some lighter, Euro-y games. And since there’s a baby….
Saturday, July 10th - To Baltimore to throw down with Michael “Malloc” Buccheri and his stud farm, which includes Peter Putnam, Rob Olsson, and fucking Ben Stephenson. Malloc has promised a fully stocked fridge, including a celebratory Dogfish Head 120 Minute for me, and we’re definitely playing Twilight Imperium. So I’ll probably get to the early morning hours from the wrong side.
Sunday, July 11th - STEVE will drive. I WILL not be driving, I don’t think, to Mahopac, NY, where dwells the illustrious gaming guru Zev Schlasinger, purveyor of the mighty Z-Man Games. Zev’s having lots of people over and we’re gonna play even MORE games - although I don’t know who’ll be able to stay up late considering that the next day’s a Monday. And I don’t know how I’ll be feeling….
Monday-Tuesday, July 12th & 13th - We will return home. Like hobbits who’ve just destroyed the One Ring in the fires of Mount Doom, we will come back victorious and wiser, but with scars and wounds that may never heal.
So look for my updates on Twitter and Facebook and here.
I’ll have another “literary” post up on Friday - either a podcast or a short story - but after that, this trip will take precedence.
What I’m Thinking, 4th Edition
Just in time for your holiday jingles, here are some of my most recent ponderings. They’re no beatitudes, but then again, it’s not my birthday coming up. Anyway… enjoy!
- If living well is the best revenge, then TAKE THAT, sucka!
- Even now, people vote against their best interests because of the color of a candidate’s skin. You say you know that already? Then why do we let it happen?
- I’m glad I discovered boardgaming AFTER I graduated from college. Otherwise, I might not have graduated….
- I genuinely thank God every night that nothing terrible has randomly happened to my family. I wake up every morning terrified that it will.
- You can’t blame Neal Boortz. I think that if I had no shred of moral fiber and someone paid me enough money to be a mouthpiece, I’d do it, too.
- Whoever left me that heartfelt message in the frost of my windshield the other morning - passive aggression suits you well. Naturally, this means you are a coward and a douche.
- No amount of money dumped into education can change the fact that some kids are really stupid.
- Apparently, Nathan Fillion’s penis is shaped like a hammer. As this could prove problematic to one’s love life, I am grateful that mine is not.
- At some point every day, I must drop what I’m doing to help Eli go potty.
- Some haiku 4 U: The Titans cycle || Meanwhile, the cycles tighten || Less time ev’ry time
- Political correctness and showing general consideration for your fellow man, though related, are NOT the same. For starters, one’s political….
- Hey! Just because pedestrians in the crosswalk have the right away, it doesn’t mean you should TAKE YOUR TIME.
- On that note, maybe if you moved a little faster you wouldn’t be such a fat ass.
- I think I should report my kids’ car seats to the CDC.
- Hey buddy, I told you to back up. When someone wielding a large metal object - be it a hammer, a gun, a sword, or a car - tells you to back up, you really should.
- I’m old enough to remember when being a douchebag DIDN’T help you get elected to office.
- If people who shouldn’t be afraid of you ARE, and people who should be AREN’T, then it’s time to change your approach to both sets of people.
Dragon*Con is HERE
And I’m going. At about 4 this afternoon, I’ll be disappearing for the entire weekend - so it’ll appear that I’m being remiss and abandoning the loyal readers I have amassed. But don’t despair! I’m going to make every effort to send Tweets on Twitter and post things on Facebook, and maybe even post brief posts here to keep you amused and apprised. Check back periodically for anecdotes. I hope they happen….
Will’s Most Memorable Moments at The World Boardgaming Championships! Part THREE!
When last we left off, I was DESTROYING Ben, Jason, and Andy in Twilight Imperium. I had 7 out of the 9 points I needed to win, I had my Secret Objective – and I didn’t tell you this part, but I’d also blown up Andy’s Space Dock on the planet Arcturus, which was enough to get me the 2 points I needed to bring it all home.
Then the phone rang.
Now, I have a policy that when the phone rings, unless I am absolutely unable to, I answer it. I may shoo you off as soon as I’m on with you, but I will pay you the courtesy of at least acknowledging that you called. Unlike Michael Barnes.
You can test me if you want….
Anyway, it was my wife Aida and I answered it – with every intention of saying hey and then shooing her off so that I could get back to the game. I love her, but when I’m in the middle of something like Twilight Imperium, it’s difficult to demonstrate my love – the plastic pieces are calling, my friends/opponents are waiting, and it’s not fair to her that I’m only half listening.
Unfortunately, in this instance, I couldn’t shoo her off; something was up, something akin to a minor midlife crisis: Aida was concerned about her future, her well-being, her health, etc., and she needed me to listen to her vent. I stepped away from the table and strolled around the gaming room, listening – just listening – like a good husband should.
I hope she felt better after that; I’d like to think she did.
I hope it was worth it, too, because when I got back to the TI3 table 15 minutes later, Ben had devised the most elaborate plan imaginable to take my Home System, using Andy (naturally) as an unwitting accomplice. In TI3, if you don’t control your Home System, you can’t score any more points….
I sat down and Ben casually mentioned that he was going to take my Home. I stopped, and for several long minutes stared at the board, breaking down permutations and maneuvers and possibilities. I couldn’t see HOW he could do it, so I confidently continued playing for my win. I figured he was full of shit.
Ten minutes later he had a huge fleet in my Home System and I was locked out.
Now… ordinarily, this wouldn’t be that bad – even though this was a qualifying round for the TI3 final the next day. Except for two things:
1) There is NO WAY Ben and Andy could have concocted a plan like they did had I been at the table. But I wasn’t AT the table….
2) In most games, I would have had to sit there, trying to get my Home back for maybe an hour at the most (I finally got it back the same round Ben crossed the 9-point finish line for the win), but as I mentioned in my previous post, this game took nearly NINE HOURS. I literally sat there for nearly FOUR HOURS, unable to score a point and trying desperately to get back in the game my with a scant fleet and almost no resources. Four hours of just sitting there, suffering.
I think I would have enjoyed having bamboo wedges shoved under my fingernails just about as much. And if you’d have been me and this had been your first or second or third game of TI3, I’d understand completely if you swore you’d never play the game again.
The End/Summation
Okay. I’ve drawn this tale out into three whole posts. And to be honest, as much fun as I had at the WBC, the memory of it is fading and other things are shoving my WBC adventures to the back of my mind – things like last weekend’s gaming session (more Twilight, which I won, plus Smallworld, Dominion, Tales of The Arabian Nights, and Middle Earth Quest), my daughter’s first day at school, and my renewed enthusiasm for my novel. So I’ll simply share a few brief highlights with you and then wrap this up.
Charles
Charles Jenkins is one of my oldest and dearest friends. He lives in Pennsylvania, though, so I only get to see him about once a year. He came down for a few games on Friday and Saturday, and I gotta say – Charles hasn’t changed. In fact, I’d like to apologize now to that guy who was sitting with us at the bar Saturday night. That joke about hollowing out a turd and filling it with “cream” was in poor taste. But that’s Charles and me together for you.
Descent
I don’t know what I enjoy more – playing the game of Descent, or the attention all my painted pieces tend to get at conventions. I’m no Richard Launius, but I’m fairly proud of my figurines – and painting them relaxes me kind of like knitting does for some people. The picture here features some of my work.
Battlestar Galactica with Canadians
Is fun. Bob, Dan, and Mike – if you’re out there, thank you for a riotous game that cracked me up and made me very happy, eh.
Everyone who I met at the WBC – thanks for a great time. I WON’T be back next year, since it falls on Aida’s birthday, but I’ll be around.
Eh?
Will Kenyon’s Most Memorable Moments at The World Boardgaming Championships! Part TWO!
I’ve been thinking even more about how much I liked Michael “Malloc” Buccheri’s assortment of friends, who are my friends now. Ironically, before I left I HAD been feeling a little down, because I’d just had a guy tell me that he didn’t want to hang out with my gaming group anymore because he thought I (we) were – and I’m almost but not quite paraphrasing here – vulgar, sarcastic, and apparently needful of making myself (ourselves) feel good at the expense of others.
Believe it or not, and this is gonna surprise even the people who know me well, I’m sometimes prone to crippling self-analysis. So that guy’s remarks actually made me stop and wonder whether me and friends were too vulgar, sarcastic, and downright mean.
Then I met Malloc’s crew and I fit right in, even with Rob Olsson, who’s about the sweetest guy you could ever meet. In fact, now that I think about it, I’ve never had much of a problem, even though I’m a 30+ gamer who likes fart and sex jokes and who has no problem with banter and bravado as long as everyone’s sensitive to those gray areas that are occasionally off limits (like, no mama jokes at a table where one of the guys has lost his mom, and no fat jokes unless you’re ready for them to come right back at you).
So now I offer thanks to Malloc and the others. The bravado and bluster is (almost) universal. And that guy who said that crap about me and mine? Well, he’s just a giant pussy.
Good riddance.
The Hotel
As I indicated in my first post about this, I was staying in a separate hotel thanks to Jay. My room was GREAT, but the hotel itself was a typical chain hotel – lots of comfort but no character. The Lancaster Host, where the WBC took place – had character in spades. While we were there, the whole place was teeming with people, all of whom shared a common interest – games, and many of whom had no problem with having a beer or six with friends. The hotel offered us daily buffets of artery-clogging food which we devoured without remorse. There was a pretty cool bar where you could get a decent beer after yours were “lifted” and you got tired of Natty Boh. And there were rooms – spacious, well lit rooms – full of games and people playing games, laughter and shouting and fun.
Absolute Heaven. I knew I was in for a treat when Malloc met me at the door with a Dogfish Head 120 Minute in hand.
First Session Report – Fucking Wormholes
Now, if you don’t know Twilight Imperium, some of this next bit is gonna make your eyes glaze over and your tongue loll out of your mouth. So I’ll use as many swear words as possible to make it interesting to the layman.
On Tuesday, after getting some much needed sleep, I sat down to play my first “qualifying heat” of Imperium, heretofore to be referred to as TI3 (Twilight Imperium 3rd Edition). I was playing the Mentak – one of my least favorite alien races, but the most “militaristic” that I drew. At conventions, I gravitate toward military races instead of peaceful ones, because a strong military is your best deterrent for those fuckers who think they’re playing Risk and who’ll just attack you because they think that’s the way to win.
To my left was Jack Jaeger, who looks like the dude from The Mentalist. And yes, his last name is Jaeger - that was not lost on me. Across the universe was a hybrid of newbie (Jeff Arnold) and Malloc, and to my right was Rob Olsson.
To understand how I eventually lost the game to my favorite asshole, Malloc (and the guy who was essentially just rolling his dice, Jeff), you have understand the game board/map. In TI3, there are Wormholes – a lot like the ones in Star Trek – which establish adjacency between two “systems” or spaces, even if those systems are across the table from each other. Well, in Malloc’s special map, there were 4 “Wormhole Nexuses” – spaces that were separate from the rest of the game board and only connected via Wormhole. And in each one of those was a planet which carried a Technology Specialty. To win, I needed SIX planets which had Tech Specialties, so it made sense for me to lurk in the Wormholes. By Round Five, I had pretty fucking big fleets of ships sitting in a couple of those spaces.
I was poised to strike the two planets I needed to round out my six, therefore scoring my “Secret” Objective as well as a “Public” one AND taking an Artifact (worth a point) from The Mentalist. Game over.
But the Mentalist must have read my mind, because when the next Political Agenda got presented to the Galactic Council, he and Malloc and Rob (and Jeff, sort of) voted to CLOSE THE FUCKING WORMHOLES, thus cutting my two big ass fleets off from the rest of the universe for the REST OF THE FUCKING GAME.
Game over.
Second Session Report – Divorcing my Wife (Not Really, But Still….)
I took second in that game – a strong second which eventually guaranteed me a place at the final table. But I didn’t know that at the time, so on Wednesday I opted to play another game in hopes of winning a first place slot in the final instead of my then tenuous second.
This time around I faced Ben Stephenson, a guy named Jason, and a British? guy named Andy. We started late morning, and this time I was the Barony of Letnev – my favorite race. Also, I had an EASY Secret Objective (Expansionist). This game, like the first one, was in the bag.
Now, I will not cast aspersions unless provoked (OK, I will, but not in a public forum), but to give you an idea of some of what I had to deal with in this game, let me describe one particular situation that occurred.
A Political Agenda came up. It went like this: If we voted FOR, and it passed, then Mecatol Rex – the most important planet in the game, and one that is vital to a significant number of Secret Objectives – could NEVER be invaded the rest of the game. What that meant was that if it passed, Jason and Andy could NEVER score their Secrets, because both of their Secrets had to do with Rex. Ben and I had already made it abundantly clear that our Secrets had nothing to do with Rex, so naturally we were gonna vote for it.
And yes, at this point none of our Secret Objectives were not so secret.
Anyway, Andy votes FOR.
Jason is livid. He asks Andy WHY he would do that. He explains to Andy the ramifications of voting FOR – it will pass and they’ll be shut out of those points for good.
Andy says, yes, okay….
Jason asks Andy how he’s gonna vote. Andy says… FOR.
I swear to God, Jason was gonna come across the table. WHY, he asks, would you vote FOR?
Andy stares at him. Blank face. A face that would become familiar to us over the course of the game.
TI3 gets a bad rap for being a long game, but we’ve found that when everybody knows what he or she is doing, and pays attention, and moves quickly and decisively, the game usually only takes about an hour per player.
We started at around 11 a.m. We finished at 8 p.m. And you understand now part of the reason why.
And if that wasn’t torture enough, I spent the last 4 hours of the game at 7 points (out of the 9 needed to win), with fucking Ben sitting in my Home System.
And THAT was my wife’s fault. I’ll tell you why next time….
Will Kenyon’s Most Memorable Moments at The World Boardgaming Championships!
As you well know if you know me or come to this page often enough, I’ve been away for a little over a week to Lancaster, PA, playing a bunch of board games with 1500 other gaming fans. You may not be aware, but the boardgaming hobby is growing, with a whole host of games being designed and redesigned every day by companies like Fantasy Flight, Rio Grande, Days of Wonder, Z-Man, Valley, GMT and Asmodee. There are thousands of us – people who have played war games like Panzer Blitz and Titan since we were kids, people who started playing Settlers of Catan in college and graduated to more and bigger pickings, and people like me, who got sick of the time and money we wasted in collectible card games (i.e. Magic The Gathering) but couldn’t give up the thrill we got every week from rolling some dice, playing some cards, and trying our damndest to outsmart the guy across the table.
The World Boardgaming Championships is an annual event hosted by the Boardgaming Players’ Association in which over 1000 people from around the world compete to be named champion of their favorite games.
I went to be crowned the champion of my favorite game, Twilight Imperium. Alas, I was not thusly crowned – a dude named Dan was – but I managed to come in 3rd. More on that later, since it happened later in the week. For now, I shall begin at the begin and simply highlight the things which left the most indelible impressions on me.
Beer
Now, since I’m a beer snob/fan, I have to comment on the beer aspect of the week. That is to say, which beers I took with me and what I ended up drinking when mine disappeared. And drink beer we did, almost constantly. Thing is, with the exception of this guy named Ben (what up, Ben!?), most of us never got unreasonably drunk – just playful enough that the table banter raged and the testosterone roared. Even with the women. If you have a thin skin, you would have hated it. You know who you are.
I took a whole bunch of: Dale’s Pale Ale, Sierra Nevada Torpedo, Sweetwater Blue, and Flying Dog Road Dog. I was staying in a different hotel, one that my friend Jay got for us at a really awesome rate (thanks, Jay!). It had a fridge, so I kept all my beer there, and just brought out a six pack every day for that day’s consumption. Two days in a row, though, I brought my beer, put it in the cooler in my other friend Malloc’s room, and left it to go find some games. I generally didn’t start drinking every day until 2 or 3 in the afternoon (okay, so the alcohol consumption wasn’t constant), and when I came back to snag my beers, they were gone. Someone staying in Malloc’s room had found my stash and helped himself.
So two days in a row, I ended up drinking National Bohemian, which was what was left in the cooler after my stash was gone. Natty Boh isn’t a bad beer – much better than Bud or Miller Lite or swill like that. But it wasn’t Torpedo or Dale’s. And while I’m glad someone was turned on to the advantages of drinking better tasting, higher quality beer, I wish I could have enjoyed my stash a little more.
Someone’s a motherfucker, BTW. You know who you are.
Sleep
I left the Sunday evening before the convention, my intention to drive about halfway, then get a motel room, then drive the last half the next day. Originally, I had intended to drive the whole shebang that Monday, but then the folks who were gonna go with me started dwindling. Turns out, I’m the only guy in Atlanta with the money and time to make such a trip – I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Anyway, when it looked liked I was going to be making the trip by myself, I decided to break it up. That way, I’d actually get to the con earlier on opening day, and I’d be fresh for some hot game lovin’.
So I laid me down to sleep in an overpriced Comfort Inn right on the North Carolina/Virginia border and… I couldn’t sleep. I don’t know if it was excitement over the coming day (I thought I was done with that sort of shit when Santa stopped visiting me), or if it was because I was so wired from Monster LoCarbs and Starbucks, or if the bed was softer than I was used to. Whatever – I couldn’t sleep.
Finally, at about 4:30 a.m., after tossing and turning for four or so hours, I gave up. I hopped up, dragged my ass to the shower, took a cold one, then threw myself in the car for another 7 hours of endurance driving. When I got to Lancaster about 4 in the afternoon, I was jittery from caffeine, and everything seemed like it was underwater. I’d been awake for 36 hours straight.
So naturally, I sat down and played some games.
Rob, Rob, Peter, Phil, Andy, and well, Ben
I went to play Twilight Imperium. This is a HUGE boardgame which I play online as well as tabletop. Check this out to see what a game board looks like. Now online, I often play my buddy Malloc, also known as Michael Buccheri, he of the Asshole vs. Creep argument. Another guy I play regularly is Rob Olsson. They and a whole bunch of their buddies live in and around Baltimore – roughly an hour and a half from Lancaster – so they attend the WBC every year.
As much as I looked forward to playing games and drinking beer almost nonstop for 6 days, I looked forward even more to meeting Malloc’s “crew.” Boardgaming for me and my friends has always been a social outlet – which is probably why we gravitate to games with high interaction levels (there are some games which lend themselves to fat bearded guys and women – yes, bearded women – leaning over little wooden bits and shoving them around the board with no player interaction whatsoever). I’ve met Malloc on many occasions, and beat his ass in Twilight several times, but all I knew of Rob and the others was their name, their gaming “style”, and their e-mail address.
After meeting them, I can honestly say that I have no doubt any one of them would fit in perfectly with my own gaming group – the guys I hang out with weekly. They are all funny, generous, outgoing, and passionate about our hobby.
And though I may see them only once or twice a year, I now count Rob Olsson, Rob Buccheri, Phil White, Andy Joy, Peter Putnam, and Ben Stephenson as my friends. Even if one or more of them kept taking my beer.
Rob O., dude – I still owe you for that dinner. You need to come down here to Atlanta and collect.
OK then - this post is already getting long, so I think I’ll stop for now. Next time I bring this up, I’ll tell you my impressions of the hotel which hosted the convention, as well as a couple of stories about the games I played. Until then….
What I’m Thinking About, 1st Edition
I haven’t had anything lengthy to say for a few days. But as we all do, I have been thinking random stuff for a while, and now that I have a blog in which to voice some of these random thoughts, well…. Here are some things I have contemplated of late. No particular order or reason. And I’m perfectly sober right now, so there’s that.
- People who ask “What, are you high?” usually have no idea what being high is like.
- Who was the better father - George Jetson or Fred Flintstone?
- When I finally had sex for the first time, I stopped bragging about it. Until a few years ago.
- The perfect woman for me would probably be a cross between Daphne and Velma. The perfect man would NOT be a cross between Fred and Shaggy. I don’t like dogs, so there is no perfect dog as far as I’m concerned. Sorry, Scooby.
- Can earwigs really lay eggs in your ear like in that movie I saw?
- I’m not sure I understand people who write computer viruses. There seem to be a lot of them. Unless… do you think maybe they get kickbacks from people who make anti-virus software?
- I think gaming will keep me from getting Alzheimer’s or some other form of dementia when I get older.
- I wish I would have taken better care of my Chevy Nova in high school. Turns out, it could have been a really cool car.
- Going to hell would suck.
- I despised the Bush Administration, but I will say this: I don’t think a single person in Georgie’s offices was as big of a hypocrite as Newt Gingrich.
- Trolls in AD&D weren’t nearly the cowards that Internet trolls are.
- My house alarm monitoring company sent me a letter telling me they were gonna raise my monthly rate by roughly $2. I own my alarm system - they just monitor for me. So I called them up and told them I didn’t want them to raise my rate, and they said OK. They know I can leave them for another company. And THAT is capitalism at work.
- Would you hire a company called “Catastrophe Roofing”?
- Speed traps are NOT done in effort to make the highways safe. They are done to collect revenue.
- Apparently, one should not fuck with gypsies.
- I don’t trust the motives of any politician whose cause would make me either buy a product or subscribe to a service. I’d be willing to bet that politician has invested in the company that provides said good or service.
- There are many, many beautiful women in the world. Most DO NOT live in L.A.
Creeps and Assholes
First, a little context for this post: I have a hobby, one which I love SO MUCH that sometimes Aida (my wife) questions whether I love it or her more. And that hobby is gaming.

This is a creep.
When I say that, people automatically assume I mean VIDEO gaming, which I don’t. While I enjoy video games a little bit, I rarely play them. No – what I mean is board and card gaming – and not Magic The Gathering either (I had a long brush with collectible card games like Magic and I’m mostly over them). I mean board games ranging from ones you know - Chess and Backgammon – to ones you might not have never heard of, like Twilight Imperium and Cosmic Encounter. I mean card games like Poker and Blackjack, as well as card games like Colossal Arena and Race for the Galaxy.
One of my best gaming buddies is a guy named Michael Buccheri. He lives in Baltimore, and I only see him a couple of times a year. But we shoot the shit nearly every day while he’s driving to work and I’m dropping Madeleine off at school (free long distance is one of the best things to happen in the past decade).
One day, while we were talking, I started bitching about some people who were pissing me off (no, not you), and Michael (who has the nickname Malloc, BTW), told me about this thing he wrote a couple of years back for a gaming web site we both belong to. What he said intrigued me, so I went to the site and appropriated what he wrote there for this post.
This is it, more or less intact. I cleaned it up some, and made some statements more “general” so that non-gamers can understand it better, but this is more or less exactly what Malloc wrote:
It has been said there are two types of people in this world: those who lead and those who follow. I have a different way of thinking, a slightly more cynical Boolean classification for the world’s population. The two types of people in Malloc’s world are Creeps and Assholes.
I was having a conversation with a friend the other day and we got onto the topic of types of gamers. Why does one guy like a specific type of game , and another guy like a different type of game? (Will’s interjection for the gaming layperson: there are two major “schools” of gaming, which I will explain in some detail at another time.)
It became clear to me that there are distinct personality types that favor each school of gaming. Essentially, some people get what they want by acting in a passive-aggressive manner, and these people favor a particular type of game: games with clearly defined mechanics, relatively short play times, and little direct player interaction. Others are more of the “in your face” types, and they prefer games with heavy themes, less restrictive rules, relatively longer lengths, and more direct player interaction (i.e. fighting).
Now, I’m sure my “sample” wouldn’t satisfy even the loosest of scientific standards, but I tended to notice that the people I would consider Creeps - the kind of person who is usually quiet, but gets his way by complaining and manipulation – tended to favor the first school of gaming. On the other hand, those whom I consider to be Assholes – brash individuals who never stay quiet when given the opportunity to offer an opinion and who tend to get their way via direct confrontation – favor the second school.
I’m not condemning or condoning being either a Creep or an Asshole – all of us are one or the other. I just wanted you all to think about what you are.
For the record, it should be obvious that I consider myself a total Asshole.
Essentially, when you’re not applying it to gaming, what Malloc means is that there are two ways people approach “getting what they want” - either aggressively (Assholes) or passive-aggressively (Creeps).

This is an asshole.
After Malloc told me this, we concluded together that the reason those people were pissing me off was because they were Creeps and I (like Malloc) am an Asshole, and sometimes Creeps and Assholes just don’t get along. It didn’t help that the Creeps were complaining about my being an Asshole without acknowledging the fact that they’re Creeps. Furthermore, and as Malloc pointed out, neither Creeps nor Assholes are necessarily superior behavioral models, but it’s been my experience that the Creeps out there tend to believe that THEY’RE better, because they are essentially non-confrontational, and thusly “better behaved.”
So I’m an Asshole. I get what I want by being aggressive, and you usually know where I stand on a given topic. Which one are you? And which one would rather be?







