What I’m Thinking, 4th Edition

Just in time for your holiday jingles, here are some of my most recent ponderings. They’re no beatitudes, but then again, it’s not my birthday coming up. Anyway… enjoy!

• If living well is the best revenge, then TAKE THAT, sucka!
• Even now, people vote against their best interests because of the color of a candidate’s skin. You say you know that already? Then why do we let it happen?
• I’m glad I discovered boardgaming AFTER I graduated from college. Otherwise, I might not have graduated….
• I genuinely thank God every night that nothing terrible has randomly happened to my family. I wake up every morning terrified that it will.
• You can’t blame Neal Boortz. I think that if I had no shred of moral fiber and someone paid me enough money to be a mouthpiece, I’d do it, too.
• Whoever left me that heartfelt message in the frost of my windshield the other morning - passive aggression suits you well. Naturally, this means you are a coward and a douche.
• No amount of money dumped into education can change the fact that some kids are really stupid.
• Apparently, Nathan Fillion’s penis is shaped like a hammer. As this could prove problematic to one’s love life, I am grateful that mine is not.
• At some point every day, I must drop what I’m doing to help Eli go potty.
• Some haiku 4 U:  The Titans cycle || Meanwhile, the cycles tighten || Less time ev’ry time
• Political correctness and showing general consideration for your fellow man, though related, are NOT the same. For starters, one’s political….
• Hey! Just because pedestrians in the crosswalk have the right away, it doesn’t mean you should TAKE YOUR TIME.
• On that note, maybe if you moved a little faster you wouldn’t be such a fat ass.
• I think I should report my kids’ car seats to the CDC.
• Hey buddy, I told you to back up. When someone wielding a large metal object - be it a hammer, a gun, a sword, or a car - tells you to back up, you really should.
• I’m old enough to remember when being a douchebag DIDN’T help you get elected to office.
• If people who shouldn’t be afraid of you ARE, and people who should be AREN’T, then it’s time to change your approach to both sets of people.