What I’m Thinking, 7th Edition

Think of these types of posts as my aggregation of all the things I ”Tweet” on Twitter during the previous months. I post these things because I know that not all of you are on Twitter, and that even if you’re on Twitter, there’s sometimes so much noise there that the things I say are easily buried in the tumult. So here you get to see all my random obsevations (at least those which aren’t links I’m sharing or sales pitches for my stories).

I’ve said this in an earlier post: I’m kind of proud of my Tweets because: A) I don’t use software to post for me when I’m not at the computer, B) I try not to be all spammy, and C) I don’t ever schedule what I’m going to say. The way I do it is much more organic and personal. These are really thoughts that cross my mind, which compel me to go to the computer and Tweet.

Some of them are stupid. Some are lame. Some are funny and brilliant and inspired. I don’t know which is which - I leave that to you.

• You’d think that someone would have made those birds take some anger management courses by now.
• Kenyon’s Law: If the cord, hose, net, or decoration you’re carrying can catch on some random immovable object, it will.
• I Was A Teenaged Teenager. SCARY.
• And I’m proud to be an American, where at least I know I’m free… to vote against my own self interests.
• Foursquare ain’t nothin’. Tell me when I can become the Burgermeister of something.
• If I were on Foursquare, I’d try to find Simpleton and check in there a lot.
• Ate a lot of asparagus today. Drank a Rock Star earlier. I just pissed out the Toxic Avenger.
• Without patience, an artist just becomes another person with talent.
• I like to paint things red. In fact, if I saw a red door, I’d probably just give it a fresh coat.
• I wish Eileen would just come on.
• Our problem is that the consequences of our actions are no longer immediate or apparent. There are, however, always consequences.
• Halloween 2011: there’s not just teenagers without costumes, there’s teenagers without costumes talking on the phone as they hold a bag out to you.
• I love when people say they’re gonna “take this country back”. From whom will you be taking it? Me?
• Just heard the phrase “fact-based journalism” on NPR. When I was in journalism school, that would have been a redundant statement.
• Stories are easier to edit than children. I guess that’s why I have more of them.
• A good portion of writing is taking your frustration at EVERYTHING and channeling it into a positive activity.
• I wish I had the inventor of autotune RIGHT HERE.
• It seems to me you can’t beat liars with the truth anymore. Nor can you turn the tides of brutality with pacifism. This makes me sad.
• Helping my daughter with her homework will get me sainted eventually.
• My daughter will be in 5th grade next year. In 5th grade, I learned what sex was, but I still believed in Santa Claus.
• A summer haiku: Ah, yellowjackets / No playing outside just yet / Sometimes nature stings
• It’s cool when one of your friends makes a literary reference - to one of your stories.
• Sad that to some Americans, patriotism means hating on other Americans who happen to be different than them.
• Ostensibly, I don’t dislike politicians, salesmen, or cops. What I dislike are predators of any ilk.
• My daughter has never really watched a movie on network TV. She was just complaining about the commercials. “There’s so many of them!”